I Can Never Leave

When I left the insti for the 'last' time after finally finishing my thesis and leaving the mundane technicalities of settling the hostel and other dues to my unfortunate friends, I felt nothing. It was like going home for vacation. I made sure I met everyone before leaving. And yet, it never did hit me that I was indeed leaving for good.

A couple of months later, I was back. On the way to the campus, I noted that the hoardings were teaming with the enigmatic DOCOMO signs and the flyover on the Cenotaph Road was close to completion. How fast places change, I thought, wondering how difficult it must be for NRIs to come to terms with change when they're home. The entrance to the campus had a huge board welcoming us to the 46^th Convocation of IIT Madras. Everything else was just the same; and this was more difficult to digest than the differences. I realized that I was an outsider in the place I called home for four years. And the place was just the same without me.

But as I met my friends and profs, and the day wore on, I realized that those four years of my life had taught me so many things and got me so close to some people that I couldn’t ask for more. And though my room was somebody else’s, or I was a guest in the mess, or I couldn’t use the DCF anymore, this place still was home. The long (and oh-so-walkable!) road to the main gate, the colourful GC, the bustling bus stop, the gentle rustling of the unnumbered trees, the gleaming eyes of the black buck, the chirping of the sleepless birds, all seemed to welcome me with arms wide open. It was not easy to leave this time, and I knew at once that I’ll never stop belonging here. This is home, forever.

I left with a vague sense of relief and excitement. This trip seemed to clearly mark a new beginning in my life; I was at the threshold of a whole new phase – a different place, a different culture, new faces and new challenges, and more lessons; but with the bolster of my alma mater behind me.