Oh Baby! (Part I)

Kids are scary. Robin Scherbatsky was the only enlightened one among a bunch of ignorants carried away by cute smiles and tiny socks. This weekend trip visiting my infant cousins made me see kids for what they are.

I boarded the flight having nice thoughts about the weekend. I was excited. A two-year-old and her mother were sitting next to me. As soon as she saw me, she shouted in her shrill voice "Haa Pee-Kee". She says, "Hi Pinki", her mother explained. Wow, so sweet. The plane took off when she was playing with the seat belt. And that was when it all started. It started at a bearable pitch but after a few seconds, I nearly jumped off my seat for her every wail. And she kept it going with such inspiring tenacity that, had I been deaf, my heart would have melted. She wanted the windows opened. Really? I don't mean to brag but if I have grown out of such featherheadedness, it wasn't learning or even evolution, it's a divine miracle. And the cynics need not worry about the threat of AI; such learning can never be simulated. For god's sake, it's not a car! She puked into the air-sickness bag and spilled water on her seat to spice things up a little more. After a long one hour, everything stopped. It was as abrupt as the touch down. I needed to run out of the airport to let some fresh cool air help the ringing in my ears. I never felt more liberated, more so thinking about the girl's mother

Of course, my cousins too warrant a page each in my blog but I'm going easy on them. One, they are my cousins. Two, they are so complicated. But here's some advice for you. Don't ever try to lift a baby too high up - it tries to climb higher and finally puts its foot right on your face and you'll be so lost and confused you'll nearly drop it (nearly, let's be clear on that). Don't plan on going to a movie with an infant's mother. It knows everything and will never let her go. Murphy's law applies here too! Don't say some kid is cute, the others will stop treating you well. And finally, get rid of that stupid misconception that kids are oh-so-sweet and totally desirable.

This is what they do - they wreak havoc in your life in myriad ways and leave you no choice but to bear them with love. Even the thought of revenge is blasphemy! No wonder a baby is god's way of saying the world should go on.